justajoy (justajoy) wrote in costochondrits,

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Late night thoughts

Hi! Am Joy. I have costochondritis and I hate it with a burning passion.... well maybe not that much. When I was 13, I got it and well it laid dormant for a couple of years. When I was 16, it came with a great revenge. It has gotten worse over the months since then. I have feel scared sometimes when it starts getting so bad that I can't breath. I mean gosh this thing is terrible.

The worst part is when am in pain my facial expression does not change. Its ridiculous I am in terrible pain and some how I still manage to have the same goofy smile as always on my face. I have a fear that one day it will get bad to the point of me not being able to use my hands anymore.

The attacks comes out of no where these days. I can stand in the hallway at school and all of a sudden I have to sit down because the pain is so bad. I mean I get dizzy, my hands go numb and Oh Lord the pain it rips throw me as if I was a tree and it was the wind blowing so hard that some of my leaves went hurling to the ground.

It's sad that no one in my house understands it. I stand at constant criticism that I can get up and move when no one understand the severity of the pain that engulfs my body. I have grown to love sleep and the moments when no hint of paain takes my body. In sleep I can breath ....except when I stop breathing because the pain decides it want to wake me up.

The treatments so far are of no help. Nothing stops the pain from increasing. I have found methods of temporary relief such as...... boiling garlic and onion in water then sweeting it with sugar drinking this old remedy helps to ease the muscles. Most of my research on this subject says another good temporary relief is marijuana. However, I will never venture to that side.

Most days it feels like I am at wits end. I just wish there was a cure.
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